Running over endless fields and deep green forests i´m reminded of my childhood days. But what is even more vivid are the memories of the years following my spiritual birth which happened here. As I breathe in the scent of moss and earth, listen to the wind brushing through the trees all around me in these vast green spaces overlooking endless beauty reflection the creator each day. My stomach tingles with the memory of how full my heart was when i first discovered Gods beauty and closeness to my spirit. I sang with my whole heart as i climbed up steep hills and stood overlooking the vast green space and blue mountains in the distance. I used to think back then how could i ever be done with this enthusiastic pursuit and ever get enough of seeking this incredible feeling when God touches a human life.
Now after over 5 years i came to realize there have been times, especially in the past year to two where i have gone about my days hardy considering Him and spending time just soaking in the goodness of grace and unconditional love and receiving more wisdom with ever question i lay before Him who knows all. I have neglected to pursue God and learn more and talk about all the matters in my heart and much as in the beginning. It became normal to believe in his Love and consume it every now and then when i need it...i missed the intense relationship. I did pursue him, and never left an inch from my deeply rooted faith, but sometimes i went for days and weeks with hardly seeking him just in-between. sure...when i was dry, frustrated, lonely sad or scared i called out and received deep, lasting comfort and peace, but why did it always have to come so far? But what was good and important for me was the deep desire i developed in the distance i felt. I realized i loved, and needed God to fully be alive. It is soo much more than religion! It is vibrant faith. It is most of all. A relationship.
So yesterday i came by some wild blackberries, and since I'm a berry fanatic i started collecting and tasting and realized, with some disappointment that once again the most tasty looking, huge, ripe ones where way to high to reach and guarded by the thickest thorns ever, while in front lower down all i could find where small, sour, half ripe versions of blackberries. I just randomly asked God (a bit blaming i admit) why its ALWAYS like that? why is it so hard to get to the good ones, while down in front the tiny sour ones are so many. I wan´t even seriously expecting an answer because, why, it´s silly God almighty as far more important things to do than answer those king of questions (accusations). But i was wrong! instantly after i asked, a thought clear as the sunlight jumped into my mind and it was brilliant:
Most valuable precious things in life are the ones that are hard to reach. There are so many more obstacles when you reach for treasures way above your head. Its so much easier to consume whats right in front of you "what life gives you take". like the little sour versions of blackberries. I could´ve tasted then, look up at the huge, sweet ones, shrug and think to myself, oh well. not for me. But when the burning determination to reach for the goals that are so worth fighting for hits me i go for it. And feel the first stings and scratches and tangles pulling my shirt and hair. It´s still seems impossible but i´ve never been so close. And with every scratch i get even more determined, not to give up now, now that i´ve come so far and "suffered" so much. And in the end i reach the branch, pull it down and enjoy the best blackberries in the entire world. And all the wounds are forgotten as i go along, smiling. It is just like that in life sometimes. Something seemingly unreachable is before you, and you stand before the choice, to fight for it or to give in to whats easy to get. The offers we bring to get there rather scare us off and make us give up or enhance the determination to keep going. Why quit the fight now that your closer than ever and already have wounds anyways? Who would it help if you turned around now, wounded frustrated and empty handed? No, exactly those hard times should kindle the burning desire to fight even harder to reach for the goal. Whatever the goal is, i believe we all have one or another of them we can think of just now. I do, and i´m inspired and motivated and once again fascinated about His brilliance. It was just a bunch of berries.
