New home.

my beautiful new home Halle (Saale)

wild nature in the middle of the city full of historic buildings, a huge university, rivers, artists, vegan cafés, organic and fair trade shops and farmersmarkets. Such a green city it blows me away. i feel at home already.

This i the building where i will study arabic.

the library, historic inside and outside.

university cambus, the lion is the symbol of the university. my favourite animal.

market place.

Berlin...an adventure in colour

What can i say about Berin. It´s a city full of art, life, philosphy,  brokeness, cafés, fleamarkets, graffity and hunger for more to live for. My weekend was filled with conversations, both excillerating and challenging. Deep discussions in the park and sunlight warming my skin. We went to a Artist appartment and there i met the most amazing creative people and was inspired once again. How i love artistic people.

Dare to dream.

Yet nothing can top two days full of the most amazingly annointed worship bandy ever Jesus Culture.

It´s all about his presence and this weekend was full of it. My spirit was fed so deeply and once again i felt the undeniably love of Abba. The best thing is to love Him back. He REJOYCES over us. What a huge revelation haha.

Oh how it feels like to dance in freedom before our God. Joy and life is all around us.

Reneé you are my heart i love every moment with you and every day we get to spend together brings me to life because all i feel is you unconditional love. thank you so much. you are the ost BEAUTIFUL person i know.

carried away.

It is strange, sometimes this past year sem to have been a dream in the twinkle of an eye. I´ve been to countrys around the world, seen cultures, met people from backgrounds and with stories so har to comprehend with my westernized mind. Now i can truely say i am a different person. Grown incredibly much in charakter, wisdom and faith in God as a lovening father. I finaly grasped the truth that everything comes down to relationship. With Him, with one another and with ourselves.It still is a journey, and daily challenges come and go but the experiences and things i´ve seen and lived through have left an impact on my soul too deep to ignore. Now i want to live out of this soil, and maybe someday i will comprehend what it means to die to ourselves daily. Life is simply not about me, my imediate comfort and satisfaction. It is not about me feeling good and living in my little bubble. When we come to understand to huge impact every life sacrificed out of love can have and has had in the past, this world would surely be a different place. I´ve come to realize, that the major problem of this generation is selfishness. Out of this bad soil everything hurtful and destroying, we see happening on the news daily, results. So learning to not be focused on myself constantly especially the things I do not have and who´s unfair to me and what´s going wrong around me. Instead, it is so healthy and good to be aware of the people around you and their needs and when i do think about myself then just with the mindset of what God, my Abba, sees in me. And i will see what good has happened to me that day, how many smiles i recieved and even better, gave away and how the warm morning sun tickeld my sking and the birds singing in perfect harmony from the masses of green treetops way above my reach. Sometimes it´s a pice of art i made and gave away or a song i heard that made me dance Sometimes it´s a small birdnest lying in my path, reminding me how well He provides shelter for those who choose to live dependent on Him.

i had a dream....Brazil

How long have i dreamt to go to the continent of South-America.

How far away did it seem in my with human logic intoxicated mind?

If i learned something about Gods character during this secondary school then it´s that He really does hold what we promises and he most likely will call someone who is most timid and least confident in doing what he is called to do.

That was my experience. Who would have ever thought that me, a very very quiet, shy, small girl from Southern Germany will stand before before congregations in variouse cities of Brazil speaking with an unquenchable fire of passion burning in my heart, pouring out what God had poured into my life, grown men tremble and cry while we pray for them, children on their knees forgetting everything around them in awe of His beauty, the presence of His spirit so evident and think that every doubt seems rediculouse and is throughn out to make more room for the amazing works of the one who created us to be on a relationship with him, to know his true Fatherheart.

I want to thank my supporters who made this trip the Brazil possible for me and being a part of the wonderful works that we could be part of in that nation.

how he loves...

I don´t have words to describe how incredible God has been moveing in my life this past year since i descided to give him time and room to move. He challenged, formed and tested me, he broke down walls around my heart and revealed my true identity and my calling, my gifts. The box i have put in, i put myself in is completely torn to pieces aswellas the box i thought Jesus is in.

Every day has been a testamony of how much God loves to provide, when we trust him with all that we are.

Kerusso

So this is pretty much the most hard to describe season of my life. This might be the reason why i´ve been lacking to post here.
Still i will try to reflect some of the amazing things God is doing and teaching me ind the School of the Kingdom.

Kerusso (greek)

1. to be a herald, to officiate as a herald
   1. to proclaim after the manner of a herald
   2. always with the suggestion of formality, gravity and an authority which must be listened to and obeyed
2. to publish, proclaim openly: something which has been done
3. used of the public proclamation of the gospel and matters pertaining to it, made by John the Baptist, by Jesus, by the apostles and other Christian teachers

This is what our school is based on. Which thinking about it blows my mind that i´m doing it. I never saw myself as a preacher and even less as an evangelist. But i am so thankful that God is teachi´ng me better and i can let go of my religiouse perspective i had and see the liberty that comes with being natural und myself walking in confidence and knowing who i am and who God is and what it means to live in the Kingdom Cultre. The lecture phase of my school is nearly over and outreach phase is comeing nearer each day. It seems still so unreal because we still need the finances to go. I felt i should make and sell art and jewelery and through that i got alot of support and i could give some away to others in need. So now i could pay my lecture phase which is a miracle in itself. But Outreach will be another 1500 € and i really appreciate that you stand with me in prayer so that our team can go and do Gods will ind Brasil.
The places we will go to are in high expectation of us comening and are preparing conferences for us to teach. Oh my i need His help. Today i had a vision of a huge croud of brasilians and we where teaching. i told Victoria (who is on my awesome team) thinking it was just my imagination going crazy but she had the exact same Vision at the same time.
So if that is what God has for us i don´t want to doubt that he will break through in finances.

Appart from that, God is teaching me alot about my identity. The question "who am i" was pushed aside way to much and i´m in the process of uprooting lies, insecurities and fals views on God. I am getting to know myself more that it feels good but i know it is best for me.
I could go into detail what he is teaching me and how but it´s so much and every single day something new comes a new revalation a new sinde of my spirit a new breakthrough new tears new joy and new wild flowers to discover. I can finaly earnestly say that i love life right now and i can´t put into words how much i´m amazed by God and how much he moves when we choose to let go of what we think is controll and trust in him alone. A jealouse God. Because it is best for us to obay him. His one and only motive is Love.

Last weekend we whent to the Czch Republic and worked with a curch there and did prophetic evangilism. It was amazing how He lead us to people gave u words, some got healed some asked Jesus into their life
and many others came with us and asked questions and where attracted by our joy and didn´t leafe till late at night and came with us every where we went till the departure at the trainstation we had a big group of the most random people following us. It was probably how Jesus and his deciples felt when the whole town followed them around. I believe that is a part of the Kingdom we can carry and bring to hopeless places like that little town in Czech. It was incredible to see how lifes where changed within 2 days and we realy didn´t need many words but out actions, laughter, joy, art, music and friendship spoke for itself and made the difference. Why would i ever want something else to life for than the Kingdom?

summernight in herrnhut

gently whispering...spring

location Herrnhut, Germany, may 2011                                                                by       c4keys

mysteries

How do i right about something way to great to be captures by words?

This season of my life is the most excitig, healing, creative, encouraging, true and challenging time i ever went through. I´m surrounded by so much freedom, rolling green hills covered with delicate spring flowers dressed in mire splendor than any king of the earth has ever been clothed in. Forests swallowing me in the thick masses of quivering leaves. beams of light through the branches warming my souls along with an orchestra of morning birds. and all i can do is breathe in deep and laugh with all my heart.
my stomache feels like a mass of butterflies and the only two world i´m able to bring out through heaps of laughter are: THANK YOU.
For me there is no doubt that God is with me with such an abundance of love that my physical body can hardly contain it.

I´m running. My head is free. I breath i think i feel alive. When i lay in the soft spring gras and breathe deep i sing a song in my heart and close my eyes. God is here.

So i am in a place so healing for every part of my being that the effects blow my mind and make very day to a new adenvture of what God is going to do this day.
That it would challenge me and strech me to my limits was one thing i felt God telling me before i came and ask me if i trust Him anyways and pursue his presence although i can´t always feel like this.
And there definatly where these days where i just wanted to run, hide, be alone with my negative thought which i´m so used to. Surrounded my so much true love though, there is no chance to fall into that lonely dark place and i´m so thankful that i´m not alone. I have friends, who hold me, process and just pray with me. I never felt so alive and i feel like i still am just dipping my toes into the ocean of goodes.
THERE IS SO MUCH MORE.

Generosity is such a gift and i am preacicing it more and more, even though i have needs to. I rely in Gods promise of Matthew 6:33 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

Meditateing on his goodness is to healing. There´s nothing we can do to earn any on it. It´s a by choice. All by love.

C.

PS i recommend everyone to watch "Furious Love"

At home...at home?

So it´s been about 3 weeks since i´ve arrived home.
The first week i spent with my lovely Rachel and it was good to have her because being at home alone after 7 months of constant crazyness and awesome people everywhere anytime it would´ve been a shock to be alone. Sure my friends at home where waiting to see me too, but the thing is they can´t relate to what i´ve been through in the DTS and my jouney with God...i needed someone to remind me where God has brought me and not to slide back into old habits just because i´m at home.
The week after Rachel left, i got to spend alot of time at Piros house where i went horseback riding, biking and running...the blossoming spring weather and vibrent deep green forests amaze me everytime anew...
Yet i felt an anxiety creeping up...the time to come still scares me. Should i do the kingdom school? how in the world do i explain this to friends and family who don´t even believe that God exists?
But God gave me the chance again and again to choose to trust him and get to know him as an adventurous Lover...I painted alot and hav about a week of complete pause. hardly contacted anyone. I needed that to find back to myself. I felt not ready to be out there presenting my stories and further plans before i´ve fully processed and found who i am and what this experience has done with me.
If i know it now? well hard to say...i feel like we can never truely say we found ourselves and understand whats inside...we´re way to complex for that to happen....but yes i found peace and a new excitement to know more about this wild, dangerouse and intimate loveint God that i am about to give up everything for...it´s not a small step....this School of the Kingdom is more than just another timefiller befor University. It is a step of commitment in the unseen world. at i don´t know anything about it, exept that it is real, so much more real than we can imagine, and that my life will always be empty when i don´t pursue more of whan i´ve only tasted a tiny but breathtaking bit...I desire so much more, this world can´t offer anything close to what i feel is waiting when I enter into this new level with God...right now again i feel my physical heart beating against my chest like a trapped wild animal in a cage about to break free and run in freedome...

leaving

so now it´s over. The last weeks of DTS rolled by and now we´re all on the other side of the school looking back, laughing or crying, it´s quite diffenert with everyone. But it is a strange feeling we all can´t help but notice in and around the once so lively filled castle of YWYM Herrnhut.

Right now i´m rolling through germany an my way back home to stay with my parents for a while. I know it´ll be not for long, but the place i grew up in is so filled with peace i just need that for this season. A season of rest. I´ll find time to fully process the past 7 months and where god brought me now. And listen to him. I kow one thing – the only thing that makes sence is to give your life to god and let him guide you to the place you where created to be in. I believe there is such a place for everyone and it is possible to find it. The best way is to just trust god to guide you every step towards his heart. That is the place we where created for. And i believe that here on earth we can find our individual ways to be the closest to gods heart. For me it is and always be art and encouraging people.

Since i´ve been in India where spirituality is something that pretty much everyone seeks and find in one way or another. I´ve seen and talk to people who believe such wired things but i could scence that their soirits are alive, so much more than lots of christians i know in the western church. Yet i learned something there that i´m incredibly grateful for. I learned that my faith is not depentent on how other believers behave but it´s a personal relationship with god who is love. That in it self was so encouraging for me in india that i loved to talk about my faith with all kinds of people i met. Not the „convert“ them or whatever but to simply share the joy god keeps pouring into me and to let them know that there is so much more to life...

shareing my art and passion

i got to give many art workshops in dharamsala
i helped tibetan refugees and monks how to discover their hidden talents and gifts. i saw so much talent in them and it brought me so much joy to encourage them to draw and do art; pursue their dreams, life for more than what they´ve been told all their life.
they smiled with such joy and thankfulness when i handed them a drawing or told them how gifted they are.
i heard so many stories about their dangerouse travels over the himalayan mountains to find a life in peace fleeing from the chinese government. it´s unbelievable what these people went through in theri home country and on their journey to india...but maybe that´s why they are such beautiful and thankful people.

these two are reading the bible for the first time they where fascinated and couldn´t stop, and took notes...a living book alright...god is so real.so good.

we had many conversations about god and the world. so inspireing and i personally grew so much in my own faith when i listened to them spreak about what they grew up believeing and it seems like they don´t even have a choice and so many don´t even know where their believe brings them and what it´s all about. it just mad eme so passionate about the truth. the one simple truth.

Also in Kolkata i gave an art class to a DTS.

it was a huge blessing for them and for me.

i also got to pray for them for spiritual gifts, it was soo encouraging...i got to pray for many grown men they came to me and asked for prayer, some cied some spoke in the spirit some just smiled and recieved...everyone was called to this time and place...it made me feel so perfectlx right and so happy. like my father always sais: there is to better feeling in this world than when you know without a doubt that you are exactly in the place god dreamt you into."

candlelight nights

candlelight lights where often in Dharamsala. it where the most beautiful, peaceful nights, we grew alot closer as a team and hat peaceful quiet times. it was just a good experience. ice cold outside, just as cold inside, we saw our breath in our room! cold water no electricity...it´s the uncomfortable moments that transform you the most. i feel like these moments are the ones i will never forget.

i´m reading alot in the old testament which i never had before. i found so many treasures and honestly i´m surpriesed by how current and real it all is reading it now.

i can only recomend it. but more than all i recomend a relationship with god. it´s been the only thing keeping me going day by day and still be full of joy and hope and knowing that i belong somewhere greater than just this world we know.

"when i fild in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy i can only conclude that i was not made for here"

brook fraser

Inspiring Artists

i absolutly love Goa! it´s so artsy and beautiful.
i met so many artists here.

i got to go to one artists house and paint with her.

i was in heaven. so peaceful.