dreamy moments. full of joy.

This seems way too beautiful to be real. But this truly is how my last week looked like. Sun, warmth, beautiful friends, lots of photos, laughter and dreamy moments.
Here some snapshots.

he whispers in those moments.

travels and homecoming.

I feel it´s time to share again..after longtimes what is moving me lately. it´s good to verbalize it. And if it blesses one person it´s all worth the while...

The past few months have been rich, vibrant, and full of adventures and learning more about life and finding my identity more and more.

I´ve been in Israel the past month and a half. It´sbeen a journey of wandering, sunshine, markets, surprizes,laughter,tears,awe, photos,encounters,prayer, talking hebrew, spontaneouse adventures, learning, growing and hummous.

For the first time i´ve been traveling by my self,couchsurfing and just staying at random peoples places, getting to know israeli life from the inside.

Here some of my favourite moments and what i´ve learnt from them:

Houseboat life at Jaffa port, steering a boat all by myself in the sea: i want a houseboat one day.

Tel-Avivrooftop party: psychological game „the room „and life music on rooftops are great.ohand goldstar is not a bad beer.

Pessach seder with a jewish family: it´s a looong story. Israels wine is good. I enjoy long conversations with a Rabi...and i should listen to more classical music.

Pessach seder with a messianic family: it´s a fun story, lively and full of laughter the hagada can be told. And i love when they sing, bless you Hydes !

Hot Springs: it felt good but i got sick the next day. Oh and Avi is a great busridig companion.

Working with holocoust survivers, cleaning an old ladys home and listening to her and sharing smiles.

Helping at the humanitarian aid for homeless and needy...meaningful encounters, using a little of arabicor hebrew wich blessed them alot i noticed.

Easter morning at the garden tomb...the reality of the story hit me deep and i felt loved.unworthy but loved nontheless.

Desert jeep trip: i love adventures and singing hebrew songs on the way. The dead sea doesn´t let you sink...the mud.it´s good. But hurts in the face! I like my desert companions.

Night hike through the Wadi and jumping into deep waters of an Oasis after the salty dead sea. Yes.

Jad vashem: it´s heavy. I whept. Had to rush through the last third of the exibition.

Shabbat evening at the Cotell. Praying, dancing and singing to the God of Israel.And afterward Shabbat ceremony at Rabi Mordechays house togehter with 50 others.Felt honoured and enriched. Shabbat nights are beautiful...warm night air, people walking on empty streets.

Living in a Kibbuz. Now i know what a planker is,...i think. Best host from couchsurfing ever.Guy!

Holocaus memorialday...more tears...the national anthem of Israel is sad,yet full of hope.

Sea of Galilee swimming and pilates at the beach. Mascha!!!

Shabbat with the Hydes. What a blessing. Love to sing with them and just listenand be carried away.

Hiking and night painting sessions with wonderful Debs. Taleted and wise, and heaps of fun.

Tel Aviv-Jaffa...great flea market! And Party on he roof. Yes.

Nazareth. What a beauty, peacefuland calm. Colorful and gentle. Steep hills and painted walls.dancing never felt to free.

TelAviv vegan-artists-hippie commune. Very alternative and such great laughts.

The memorial sirene going of while being at a beach near a street..when suddenly slilence..evryone on their feet.head bowed. I senced a heavy weight through all the heavy thoughts. It was as if time was standing still..the only movement and noice came from the constant rushing of the sea...everyone stood like pillars of salt. It was an eerie moment.but unforgettable.

Now.

He tought me who i am. A reminder, engraved in my skin. I can´t forget...i will not forget. I am His.

Finally i feel back home. My heart took a few days longer to arrive...my head too i think...now i am fully here, enjoying times with wonderful friends i love,taking pictures going to classes and listening to early spring birds, and watching the flowers unfold their beauty. Sharing laughther, stories,pain and life with a wonderful person i´m starting to let in...its all good. Life is bright for me right now and i love every bit of it. Thank you for all your love and support.

some black and white moments back in Germany. spring-sun. art-books. baby-sitting.

new things.

As the winter is coming to an end, seasons are shifting and there is a sweet scent in the air.
I am silent. Drawn back from the so distant seeming world outside...thoughtful.
I was sorting out some artwork also old and new photos. Somehow this desire to be creative, share beauty and make something out of nothing...it is stirring up in me and it makes me restless. So little time. But i´m taking it anyways because it is what i´m made for. I am and always will be  an artist, no matter what i do. Why are we defined merely by what we do? Why is this always the first question when we meet someone new? There are some much more relevant things to ask. I am tired of that question and especially of being defined by it. What i am studying is a small part of my path yet there is so much more that moves me, makes me alive and stirres my heart.
Next year i might me doing something completely different, will a be another person? or just in another box for the people who prefer to think inside of them.
Mainthing is...i know that there is more to life, much more than what is visible at the moment. And everything is possible for the one who believes.

the photos have been taken with my new(very old) canon film camera. unedited. just like that.

live.

emoional im calm. thoughtful...wintery. but yearning. loveing people. more and more. the less i look upon my own issues.
my dreams for next year are to live and work in jerusalem. hike and go on adventures. paint and journal and fall in love. dance and run as fast as i can and jump into blue waters. find a meadow and lay there. discover new sounds and skip across the streets. explore a very big city and sell some art. read and think and sow new clothes. stargaze and splatter paint around. weep on someones shoulder and get to know a very old person. i dream of hugging you and laughing until tears come.
i want to live.

everyday beauty.

 

since i´ve been back from sunny spring-time in Australia i have been discovering so much beauty in everyday life here in autumn eastern Germany. i love life here. i really do.

 

freedom is here

The last year has been not always easy.
i found myself questioning  alot... life, passions, and dreams.
university life shook me alot at first, i found myself wheeping on the floor may times.
it was not only the pressure but many other things breaking through my calloused heart.
now i believe i have arrived in a place, victory i havn´t know in so many years.
and it feels like i´m stepping into new land, can hardly believe it´s true.
One thing i know is this big thing following me all these past years has broke of with one huge very painful wave of all the emotions i have tried to compensate with other comforters in the last week i was in Sydney with my sister.
It was unforgettable, way too intense. But i was vividly reminded of Gods furiouse love when he cleaned his holy temple out. and now...why have i ignored so long that my body is his holy temple? i am responsible but don´t have to hold onto controll with all i have, for i have nothing without God.
It´s time be real. and most of all free.
the miracle of this season might seem silly but for me actually its a sign of nothing less but victory.
i enjoyed cake with friends last saturday.enjoyed.