i had a dream....Brazil

How long have i dreamt to go to the continent of South-America.

How far away did it seem in my with human logic intoxicated mind?

If i learned something about Gods character during this secondary school then it´s that He really does hold what we promises and he most likely will call someone who is most timid and least confident in doing what he is called to do.

That was my experience. Who would have ever thought that me, a very very quiet, shy, small girl from Southern Germany will stand before before congregations in variouse cities of Brazil speaking with an unquenchable fire of passion burning in my heart, pouring out what God had poured into my life, grown men tremble and cry while we pray for them, children on their knees forgetting everything around them in awe of His beauty, the presence of His spirit so evident and think that every doubt seems rediculouse and is throughn out to make more room for the amazing works of the one who created us to be on a relationship with him, to know his true Fatherheart.

I want to thank my supporters who made this trip the Brazil possible for me and being a part of the wonderful works that we could be part of in that nation.

how he loves...

I don´t have words to describe how incredible God has been moveing in my life this past year since i descided to give him time and room to move. He challenged, formed and tested me, he broke down walls around my heart and revealed my true identity and my calling, my gifts. The box i have put in, i put myself in is completely torn to pieces aswellas the box i thought Jesus is in.

Every day has been a testamony of how much God loves to provide, when we trust him with all that we are.

Kerusso

So this is pretty much the most hard to describe season of my life. This might be the reason why i´ve been lacking to post here.
Still i will try to reflect some of the amazing things God is doing and teaching me ind the School of the Kingdom.

Kerusso (greek)

1. to be a herald, to officiate as a herald
   1. to proclaim after the manner of a herald
   2. always with the suggestion of formality, gravity and an authority which must be listened to and obeyed
2. to publish, proclaim openly: something which has been done
3. used of the public proclamation of the gospel and matters pertaining to it, made by John the Baptist, by Jesus, by the apostles and other Christian teachers

This is what our school is based on. Which thinking about it blows my mind that i´m doing it. I never saw myself as a preacher and even less as an evangelist. But i am so thankful that God is teachi´ng me better and i can let go of my religiouse perspective i had and see the liberty that comes with being natural und myself walking in confidence and knowing who i am and who God is and what it means to live in the Kingdom Cultre. The lecture phase of my school is nearly over and outreach phase is comeing nearer each day. It seems still so unreal because we still need the finances to go. I felt i should make and sell art and jewelery and through that i got alot of support and i could give some away to others in need. So now i could pay my lecture phase which is a miracle in itself. But Outreach will be another 1500 € and i really appreciate that you stand with me in prayer so that our team can go and do Gods will ind Brasil.
The places we will go to are in high expectation of us comening and are preparing conferences for us to teach. Oh my i need His help. Today i had a vision of a huge croud of brasilians and we where teaching. i told Victoria (who is on my awesome team) thinking it was just my imagination going crazy but she had the exact same Vision at the same time.
So if that is what God has for us i don´t want to doubt that he will break through in finances.

Appart from that, God is teaching me alot about my identity. The question "who am i" was pushed aside way to much and i´m in the process of uprooting lies, insecurities and fals views on God. I am getting to know myself more that it feels good but i know it is best for me.
I could go into detail what he is teaching me and how but it´s so much and every single day something new comes a new revalation a new sinde of my spirit a new breakthrough new tears new joy and new wild flowers to discover. I can finaly earnestly say that i love life right now and i can´t put into words how much i´m amazed by God and how much he moves when we choose to let go of what we think is controll and trust in him alone. A jealouse God. Because it is best for us to obay him. His one and only motive is Love.

Last weekend we whent to the Czch Republic and worked with a curch there and did prophetic evangilism. It was amazing how He lead us to people gave u words, some got healed some asked Jesus into their life
and many others came with us and asked questions and where attracted by our joy and didn´t leafe till late at night and came with us every where we went till the departure at the trainstation we had a big group of the most random people following us. It was probably how Jesus and his deciples felt when the whole town followed them around. I believe that is a part of the Kingdom we can carry and bring to hopeless places like that little town in Czech. It was incredible to see how lifes where changed within 2 days and we realy didn´t need many words but out actions, laughter, joy, art, music and friendship spoke for itself and made the difference. Why would i ever want something else to life for than the Kingdom?

summernight in herrnhut

gently whispering...spring

location Herrnhut, Germany, may 2011                                                                by       c4keys

mysteries

How do i right about something way to great to be captures by words?

This season of my life is the most excitig, healing, creative, encouraging, true and challenging time i ever went through. I´m surrounded by so much freedom, rolling green hills covered with delicate spring flowers dressed in mire splendor than any king of the earth has ever been clothed in. Forests swallowing me in the thick masses of quivering leaves. beams of light through the branches warming my souls along with an orchestra of morning birds. and all i can do is breathe in deep and laugh with all my heart.
my stomache feels like a mass of butterflies and the only two world i´m able to bring out through heaps of laughter are: THANK YOU.
For me there is no doubt that God is with me with such an abundance of love that my physical body can hardly contain it.

I´m running. My head is free. I breath i think i feel alive. When i lay in the soft spring gras and breathe deep i sing a song in my heart and close my eyes. God is here.

So i am in a place so healing for every part of my being that the effects blow my mind and make very day to a new adenvture of what God is going to do this day.
That it would challenge me and strech me to my limits was one thing i felt God telling me before i came and ask me if i trust Him anyways and pursue his presence although i can´t always feel like this.
And there definatly where these days where i just wanted to run, hide, be alone with my negative thought which i´m so used to. Surrounded my so much true love though, there is no chance to fall into that lonely dark place and i´m so thankful that i´m not alone. I have friends, who hold me, process and just pray with me. I never felt so alive and i feel like i still am just dipping my toes into the ocean of goodes.
THERE IS SO MUCH MORE.

Generosity is such a gift and i am preacicing it more and more, even though i have needs to. I rely in Gods promise of Matthew 6:33 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

Meditateing on his goodness is to healing. There´s nothing we can do to earn any on it. It´s a by choice. All by love.

C.

PS i recommend everyone to watch "Furious Love"

At home...at home?

So it´s been about 3 weeks since i´ve arrived home.
The first week i spent with my lovely Rachel and it was good to have her because being at home alone after 7 months of constant crazyness and awesome people everywhere anytime it would´ve been a shock to be alone. Sure my friends at home where waiting to see me too, but the thing is they can´t relate to what i´ve been through in the DTS and my jouney with God...i needed someone to remind me where God has brought me and not to slide back into old habits just because i´m at home.
The week after Rachel left, i got to spend alot of time at Piros house where i went horseback riding, biking and running...the blossoming spring weather and vibrent deep green forests amaze me everytime anew...
Yet i felt an anxiety creeping up...the time to come still scares me. Should i do the kingdom school? how in the world do i explain this to friends and family who don´t even believe that God exists?
But God gave me the chance again and again to choose to trust him and get to know him as an adventurous Lover...I painted alot and hav about a week of complete pause. hardly contacted anyone. I needed that to find back to myself. I felt not ready to be out there presenting my stories and further plans before i´ve fully processed and found who i am and what this experience has done with me.
If i know it now? well hard to say...i feel like we can never truely say we found ourselves and understand whats inside...we´re way to complex for that to happen....but yes i found peace and a new excitement to know more about this wild, dangerouse and intimate loveint God that i am about to give up everything for...it´s not a small step....this School of the Kingdom is more than just another timefiller befor University. It is a step of commitment in the unseen world. at i don´t know anything about it, exept that it is real, so much more real than we can imagine, and that my life will always be empty when i don´t pursue more of whan i´ve only tasted a tiny but breathtaking bit...I desire so much more, this world can´t offer anything close to what i feel is waiting when I enter into this new level with God...right now again i feel my physical heart beating against my chest like a trapped wild animal in a cage about to break free and run in freedome...

leaving

so now it´s over. The last weeks of DTS rolled by and now we´re all on the other side of the school looking back, laughing or crying, it´s quite diffenert with everyone. But it is a strange feeling we all can´t help but notice in and around the once so lively filled castle of YWYM Herrnhut.

Right now i´m rolling through germany an my way back home to stay with my parents for a while. I know it´ll be not for long, but the place i grew up in is so filled with peace i just need that for this season. A season of rest. I´ll find time to fully process the past 7 months and where god brought me now. And listen to him. I kow one thing – the only thing that makes sence is to give your life to god and let him guide you to the place you where created to be in. I believe there is such a place for everyone and it is possible to find it. The best way is to just trust god to guide you every step towards his heart. That is the place we where created for. And i believe that here on earth we can find our individual ways to be the closest to gods heart. For me it is and always be art and encouraging people.

Since i´ve been in India where spirituality is something that pretty much everyone seeks and find in one way or another. I´ve seen and talk to people who believe such wired things but i could scence that their soirits are alive, so much more than lots of christians i know in the western church. Yet i learned something there that i´m incredibly grateful for. I learned that my faith is not depentent on how other believers behave but it´s a personal relationship with god who is love. That in it self was so encouraging for me in india that i loved to talk about my faith with all kinds of people i met. Not the „convert“ them or whatever but to simply share the joy god keeps pouring into me and to let them know that there is so much more to life...